Kleenex, one of the most famous tissue brands on EARTH and probably in space too, has got a nice new set of cinema adverts where 'famous' people show exactly what they use their Kleenex for. Take a look:
As you can see that there's a mixture of sadness, anger and unrequited joy at being a bit snottery. The ad opens with actor Tom Hardy (don't worry- I had to look him up too) crying like a baby while snuggling into a dog. One can only assume he's watching someone far more well-known do something far more heart-rending that what he's supposedly done. Poor guy, I've no idea who he is and that's my fault not his. I think. Maybe he should do more things I like. Bastard. But still, he's crying at a film, grabbing his Kleenex before his dog pisses over the sofa.
The action then cuts to Bob Geldof laughing as he heartlessly mocks people who are forced to wear suits to their day job. Whether he turned up there to apply for a loan or whether times are even harder and he's actually applied for a job as some sort of super-smug loss adjuster. Anyway, he's screaming with laughter and the four boremen of the apocalypse look suitably unsettled. It's all very punk.
Then things get a bit odd. I mean, I think Emma Bunton's just been dumped but then there's none of the usual chocolate-inhaling, wine drowning nonsense and listening to Coldplay that usually occurs when women are dumped in the magical land of Ads. Instead Emma decides she'd rather throw some roses at the camera before making some half-arsed sign which wouldn't be out of place at an Iron Maiden tribute gig before throwing stuff around and jumping around on a sofa to some sort of Jonas Brothers' DVD but yet all she does is throw them across the room. She's clearly too outrageous for that. Her lack of use of Kleenex does throw up a concern for me.
It's almost as if she was filmed for another campaign but the seven seconds they managed to get of Vernon Kay furiously rubbing one out into a man-size was deemed unacceptable by the Kleenex representative and they just grabbed a file in an edit suite.
The advert closes up with Ice-King Sven Goran Eriksson blowing his nose before scrunching it into a ball and 'scoring a goal' into the bin in a football stadium's changing room. He goes mental. Pulling his incredibly sensible sweater over his head in sheer joy. Presumably the only good moment he gets having moved to Notts County. He then drops to his knees, triumphantly! One of his players then 'walks in on him'. He looks too ashamed to just have been doing a simple keepy-up with a tissue.
As you can see that there's a mixture of sadness, anger and unrequited joy at being a bit snottery. The ad opens with actor Tom Hardy (don't worry- I had to look him up too) crying like a baby while snuggling into a dog. One can only assume he's watching someone far more well-known do something far more heart-rending that what he's supposedly done. Poor guy, I've no idea who he is and that's my fault not his. I think. Maybe he should do more things I like. Bastard. But still, he's crying at a film, grabbing his Kleenex before his dog pisses over the sofa.
The action then cuts to Bob Geldof laughing as he heartlessly mocks people who are forced to wear suits to their day job. Whether he turned up there to apply for a loan or whether times are even harder and he's actually applied for a job as some sort of super-smug loss adjuster. Anyway, he's screaming with laughter and the four boremen of the apocalypse look suitably unsettled. It's all very punk.
Then things get a bit odd. I mean, I think Emma Bunton's just been dumped but then there's none of the usual chocolate-inhaling, wine drowning nonsense and listening to Coldplay that usually occurs when women are dumped in the magical land of Ads. Instead Emma decides she'd rather throw some roses at the camera before making some half-arsed sign which wouldn't be out of place at an Iron Maiden tribute gig before throwing stuff around and jumping around on a sofa to some sort of Jonas Brothers' DVD but yet all she does is throw them across the room. She's clearly too outrageous for that. Her lack of use of Kleenex does throw up a concern for me.
It's almost as if she was filmed for another campaign but the seven seconds they managed to get of Vernon Kay furiously rubbing one out into a man-size was deemed unacceptable by the Kleenex representative and they just grabbed a file in an edit suite.
The advert closes up with Ice-King Sven Goran Eriksson blowing his nose before scrunching it into a ball and 'scoring a goal' into the bin in a football stadium's changing room. He goes mental. Pulling his incredibly sensible sweater over his head in sheer joy. Presumably the only good moment he gets having moved to Notts County. He then drops to his knees, triumphantly! One of his players then 'walks in on him'. He looks too ashamed to just have been doing a simple keepy-up with a tissue.
"Kleenex: Let it Out."
You see where I'm going with this?
You see where I'm going with this?
Now there's very few ways to really sell tissues in an exciting way because we all know exactly what they're for. Crying, blowing your nose, cleaning up... uhh... unsightly messes or using them as a rudimentary pocket square. So why not get some celebrities showing that they too have need to use tissues and the brand these thoroughly famous and not at all hateful people have chosen is Kleenex. It's been around for ages and they should know the best way to catch various bodily fluids.
Given the number of voyeuristic "don't get walked in on" references, I just feel they could have saved a lot of money by having someone standing, holding a Kleenex tissue saying,
Given the number of voyeuristic "don't get walked in on" references, I just feel they could have saved a lot of money by having someone standing, holding a Kleenex tissue saying,
"Look. We know what you need and rest assured if you use our tissues, you won't get it all over your hand. Buy Kleenex."
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